Gettin' learnd is eckspesive

I am looking at going back to school, mostly online since I work as much as I do. Wow. Costly costly costly. You would think online would cost the same or less, not more. I mean the way that I view it is that it is far less resources required with online. Less space is needed, you can have larger "class" sizes, you can pay the teachers less because pre-recorded class sessions can be used ad nauseam. Well, it is what it is. I was really hoping to go back.

The main reason I want to return to college is to stop the stagnation I seem to have found myself in on a personal level. My career is trudging along at a fairly even keel, with some ebb and flow but a decent enough pace. My marriage is doing great, I honestly could not be happier there. Financially we are doing alright, a bit higher flux in that ebb and flow then the career on but still. But on a personal level, me being me, I feel like I am not *doing* anything. I am the same person I was a year, even two ago. I have not grown really as a person. I mean, yes, I have some. But not in any quantifiable way,. I could not point out any change to you in my outlook or demeanor or personality. I lost weight and that improved my posture and  overall health, but that's nothing to do with who I am, just what I am.

This little blog that nobody will read is part of that I think. Its an effort to expand myself through the act of pouring my soul through the keyboard into digital text. A self discovery therapy. Like I said a couple days ago, I am still boggled by how active I have been with this. I mean I had a Xanga years ago (remeber Xanga? There's a throwback!) and I updated it make a couple dozen times in the year or two I used it. I've already used this blog more in a week than any given month  of that Xanga page.

I think it has been good for me. I honestly think better when I am typing it out. When I just am thinking I can lose my train of thought so readily that having it typed out before me makes things so much easier. I can look  back and realize what I had been going for, reacquaint myself with my thoughts. I am learning about myself and I am enjoying that.